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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

11/10: Media of the Month!!!!!!

This was posted on Craigslist. This is hilarious. Only on Craigslist. 

Monday, November 29, 2010

Go see "Tangled!"



It's a good movie. :) Even better in 3D. Mandy Moore is off the charts adorable! 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

What's your speed?

I've never understood writers who could crank out 40k+ words in like...a month. Yeah, I'm looking at you NaNo Nerds! How do you do it? Chug down a pack of Four Loko drinks in one sitting?! 

I've been around the writing circuit for a while and I believe there are three kinds of writers when we're talking about speed. 

1. The Technicians: These guys are the ones like Stephen King. They set aside a daily word count and find the time to crank it out on paper. These writers are the planners. They can plod through an entire 70k novel in like...two months and who successfully finish NaNoWriMo. Technicians are diligent and methodical. They make writing look easy (when it isn't!) and can publish 5 or 6 books in a year while balancing a 9-to-5 job and 3 kids. I am in envy of these people. 


2. The Dreamers: These are the ones who rely on "inspiration" alone to finish their manuscripts. When the mood strikes them, they can sit down and create something. However, because inspiration isn't necessarily a "timed" or "consistent" phenomenon, it can take these writers months...even years to get through a novel. Dreamers can spend 24hrs+ writing feverishly and then go months between projects waiting on their next "muse." I happen to be a Dreamer. When I do sit down to write, I do so for hours at a time--often at the expense of other things, like attending classes, eating, sleeping, or feeding the dog. I once spent 27hrs straight writing a novella. My poor step-mother actually brought food to my room and forced me to eat because I hadn't eaten that day. I was too "juiced up" to think about food or sleep. 


3. The Hobbyists: We all know these writers. These are the ones who hardly ever finish a novel, or who start five or six novels at a time without any real concern to publish any of them. These writers take pleasure in the writing process itself. They write because it gives them something to do. When they get the time, they might write a poem or two...but Hobbyists don't take themselves too seriously and usually don't expect anyone else to either. Their motivation does not stem from compulsion (like the Dreamers) or ambition (like the Technicians) but from recreational pleasure. Some bloggers and fan-fiction writers could fall into this category. 

So which are you? 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Don't touch my junk, TSA...

I know many of you will be traveling for the holidays...so in lieu of the recent TSA debacle I thought I'd share some funny reading/viewing material to ease the pain.
You tell'em Adam Savage!

Penn Jillette (from Penn&Teller: Bullshit) shares a hilarious story of his "sexual assault" on his blog. It's old...but relevant to the times. 
Enjoy the "cranky" goodness.


Have a happy happy Thanksgiving! 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Smexxxy Friday


Jamelia...the hottest Australian chick I know! Too bad here in America we don't hear or see much of her. Her voice is amazing and this music video is definitely SMEXXXY!

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Bill vs. Geraldo

I found this nugget of gold while cyber searching the net today. Every time Bill O Reilly screams, I am thoroughly entertained. He's far more entertaining than that horrible Parker Spitzer bullshit on CNN. Honestly, I only watch these 24hr news programs to laugh...never to take their "journalism" seriously anymore. 


Let the screaming match begin! 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My dog is famous!

Check her out at The Daily Corgi! 
I'm not one of those puppy-moms who thinks their dogs are real people, I promise. But I'm so proud of her! So I wanted to share. Please excuse my boyfriend's horrible camera skills... (warning you in advance) 
But on a side note...and as some of you have already guessed...
I really really love animals. Perhaps more than I like most people. In another life I was a dog trainer and former zoo keeper, so yeah. I could seriously do a whole blog dedicated to my furry friends, but I won't bore anyone with that. Besides...cannibals are supposed to be ruthless unfeeling monsters. I can't tarnish my "bloodthirsty serial killer" image, now can I? And would ANY of you take me seriously otherwise?
Anyways, I want to thank all my new followers for joining and putting up with my absence. It has become kinda drafty and lonely in here hasn't it? Sorry about that. Mid-terms are literally turning my hair gray. Then there's grad school and the frickin' GREs to worry about. ON TOP OF THAT HEADACHE, I've been working with my editor for a December release at Sapphire Blue Publishing while drafting and half-starting new stories... and the holidays are fast approaching which brings up a whole different kind of headache I couldn't begin to tell you. I feel like I'm gonna break! 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Mmmm....man candy. They come in so many delicious flavors.


Skinny Asian boys are my favorite guilty pleasure! Oppa, Saranghaeyo! Daisuki! Wo Ai Ni! 


Djimon Hounsou is the epitome of smexxxy, don't you think? Gosh, he's like a dark chocolate candy bar! I just wanna lick him up before he melts! Woo... *fans self* 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Taking a quick break...

I'll be taking a short break from blogging for a bit. But don't worry...I'll be back to bring doom and gloom into your lives in a week or so. In the meantime, please enjoy the scheduled Smexxxy Fridays I have planned for you guys! 


~Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal! 

Friday, November 5, 2010

Smexxxy Friday (Mormon Masturbation)

I don't have anything against Mormons but this is just...hysterical, lol. Happy reading! 


IF YOU MASTURBATE YOU WILL GO TO HELL!!!!! (By suggestion 19, I was literally crying with laughter)


MASTURBATION WILL TURN YOU INTO A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!


(This one is fake but I thought it was funny anyway...)
PORNOGRAPHY FORBIDDEN,  BUT VICTORIA SECRET CATALOGUES OK!!! 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mainstream vs. Fringe Writers



Are you a fringe writer or are you a mainstream writer? Do you follow trends or do you set them? It's that simple. Me? I've always been a trend-setter and I don't plan on joining the bubblegum-popcorn-crowd any time soon. 


A large part of being a writer is figuring out WHAT YOUR POINT is. I absolutely hate reading a book only to go: "so?!" after I put it down. Maybe I'm being too cerebral, but I detest authors who publish stuff without some sort of "message" or "focus." I feel like I've wasted my time as the reader. If all they're trying to do is entertain the masses with pointless, frivolous drivel, I want no part of it. I want to know something about the author afterwards. So don't give me another vampire book just because "it's in style" right now. 


My stories usually have an ironic message or some social commentary. I don't just "write stuff" for the sake of being published. No, I'm trying to impart a message and my point of view. I want my readers to THINK. Perhaps I'm not always successful, but it is important that I try. 


Books can change the world, and often, they have! Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin," Upton Sinclair's, "The Jungle," Charles Dickens', "A Christmas Carol" and or even (to some degree) books like Harry Potter, Dracula, Sherlock Holmes or other "genre" novels have also changed what we think of as "pop culture" too. If all these writers had just written what was "trendy" we would not be the society we are today. 


The pen is mightier than the sword. Break away from the sheeple-minded writers and do your own thing. Don't be afraid of originality. Sometimes it's okay to stay on the fringes. You may not get as many acceptances (as publishers tend to go with what's "safe" as opposed to what's "ground-breaking) but never compromise your point of view! 
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