Django Unchained

So with all the hullabaloo surrounding Quentin Tarantino's latest movie, the boyfriend and I decided to see it yesterday. And you know what? Although there was a stupid amount of violence, rap music, and slow-mo dog-mauling montages, I liked it. Admittedly, blood splatter doesn't offend me. After a certain point I did find the gun shooting scenes monotonous and uninspired. However if I had to pick my favorite aspect of the film, it would be Samuel L. Jackson's oily "Uncle Tom" performance. Leonardo DiCaprio did a great job as the villain and Christoph Waltz genuinely surprised me as the good guy. All in all, I think the movie was well-acted and provocative. The use of the "n-word" didn't faze me. After all...this is a movie about slavery. 

And that's where my movie review ends and my philosophic musings begin. Feel free to stop reading at this point because I can feel a rant simmering inside me.

I chose to open this blog post with Spike Lee for a reason. I think he's being a little ridiculous for trashing a movie he openly admits to never seeing, but he also has a point. I just happen to think his point is short-sighted. My beef is with America's obsession with racial politicking and also our knee-jerk reaction to gun violence. The lastest American tragedy in Connecticut has everyone up in arms about the wrong issues. Censuring Tarantino simply because he has violent gun scenes will not fix America's gun problem. Just like censuring the "n-word" out of books like Huckleberry Finn will not  fix America's racism problem. C'mon people! Think BIG PICTURE! 

I'm annoyed. We're so quick to "blame the media" for every little thing rather than sitting down with lawmakers and community leaders to discuss the weaknesses in our legislature, mental healthcare, and educational system. I guess it's easier to point our fingers at artists rather than implement responsible, mature policies that might actually make a difference in our national and state governments. This problem is so much bigger than a few stupid scenes in a movie like Django. We need adult conversations about change. Not knee-jerk reactions or scape-goating. 

10/12 Media of the Month: V/H/S

Horror fans rejoice! I was recently alerted to this indie horror movie by a warped friend of mine (*waves at Michan*) and I've gotta say, V/H/S was a lot of fun to watch. The movie is comprised of 6 horrifying vignettes--each one directed by a different director. Delicious gory mayhem. And surprisingly underexposed. If you're a fan of horror movies and you're looking for something fresh and new, don't pass this movie up! It'll be sure to please this Halloween, I guarantee it!

Smexxxy Friday (Amélie)

No words necessary. :) 

Smexxxy Friday (Jude Law + Nia Long)

These two have nice chemistry don't you think? The things I would do to this white boy y'all...I like this scene a lot. Yeah, I was mostly inspired by that Daniel Tosh.0 video from the other week. Thought I'd show a serious WM/BW scene! Whoop Whoop! 

Cannibalistic Confessions

I'm a sick fuck. Granted, I've been aware of this fact since...well...forever, but I comfort myself in the idea that there's a little sadist in everybody though, right? I'm just a little more honest and up front about my homicidal urges than most. I've noticed that writer's block tends to increase my antisocial/aggressive habits. So to abstain from cannibalism, I watch horror movies.


I get a morbid thrill out of watching fellow writers suffer. So here's the roster of movies I'll be re-watching this week:


1. 1408
2. Misery
3. Donnie Darko (Is he even a writer? Doesn't matter)
4. Stranger than fiction
5. Whisper of the heart (OK...this is a little kid's movie where nothing gory happens, but still...one of my favorite movies about writers)





In the interim, I won't do another blog post until this Friday. Please continue your weekly routine without me, minions. 

3/12 Media of the month: Hunger Games

Requesting volunteers for Team Peeta to go and see the Hunger Games movie! Hahaha! I don't want to write any spoilers in my post for those of you who haven't read/seen the book/movie yet...but yeah...it was pretty fun to watch! Katniss was annoying (just as annoying as she was in the books) but I wasn't watching the movie for her. I was watching for Peeta! *fangirl squeal* I must say though...none of the male leads were all that attractive to me (Sorry, Josh...you're just not my type) but Lenny Kravitz plays Cinna! That was fucking badass! I love me some Lenny Kravitz! Yum! 

Go Team Peeta! (and also Team Haymitch! and quite possibly Team Finnick!) See the movie! 

Smexxxy Friday

For some reason...it feels like it has been FOREVER since I've done a Smexxxy Friday. Out of all of my posts, I love doing the Smexxxy Friday ones best. Is is silly to say I look forward to it every week? Haha?

Anyway...Quills. The movie. It stars Kate Winslet, Joaquin Phoenix, and Geoffery Rush. A fictional account of the very real Marquis de Sade's life. Quills was nominated for an oscar, if you can believe that. Every erotic author should watch this movie. It speaks of a time when freedom of speech was not tolerated. Back in the day, if I tried to publish what I write now, I could've been hanged! As an erotic author, I was inspired.





This is one of the more twisted and fucked up movies I've seen. (Remember Eyes Wide Shut?) I was shouting at my TV: "What is HAPPENING?!" because my mind was melting between my ears every five seconds. Is it a horror? A comedy? An erotic film? Somewhere between all three? I don't know. 

The eroticism kept getting freakier and more twisted! I mean...I was almost beside myself when Joaquin Phoenix's character fucked a DEAD girl! I was like: NOOOOO! Necrophilia?! This is too far... even for me! Gross...but...wait...what's he doing? Hey, that's kinda hot. OMFG, am I really enjoying a sex scene with a CORPSE?!


Haha! You can watch this movie on Netflix, I think. Give it a try. I think you'll be surprised by how hilarious, absurd, and downright gorey this movie is. Not a bad way to spend a Friday night. 

Cannibalistic Confessions

I remember when "The Lovely Bones" was so popular and when everyone and their grandmother RAVED about the book. I don't follow trends or fads. So when someone says "X is great" I tend to do Y just to spite them. People who follow fads are stupid and most of them wouldn't know how to spot a good book even if it leapt off the shelf and flung itself between their eyes. Or, of course, if Oprah told them so.


But "The Lovely Bones" was on HBO or something, so I sat down and watched it. Halfway through the movie, I wanted to punch myself for decision. I'm not kidding...with five minutes of movie left to go I was done. There was no way I could sit through it anymore. My boyfriend begged me to keep watching just we could see the ending, but I had stomached as much of it as I could. In the end, he snatched the remote from me and forced me to watch the last five minutes.


So...here's the movie in a nutshell.


Creepy pedo-neighbor dude rapes and murders girl. Girl goes to heaven and stalks this boy and her lesbian friend back on earth. Her family tries to solve the case but in the end, never do. Girl possesses the body of her lesbian friend and makes out with the boy. She goes to heaven. The end.


However in the book...she basically RAPES her lesbian friend. She takes over her body without permission so she can have sex with this boy. Um...OK? Unprotected teenage sex = entrance into heaven? WTF?! What was the POINT of this dumbass story? She didn't help anyone solve her own murder OR save other children from being raped and killed! All she wanted to do was make goo-goo eyes at this boy.


Peter Jackson directed this movie...so maybe that should've been my first clue. The special effects were really pretty...but there was no substance. I kept waiting for it it to get good...but Nothing Ever Happened.


And THIS is why I don't follow fads. The only thing I loved about this movie was this song.

Go see "Tangled!"

It's a good movie. :) Even better in 3D. Mandy Moore is off the charts adorable! 

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Have you ever watched a movie that was so bizarre and confusing that it haunted you weeks after you finished watching it?


The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus has done that for me. The movie itself has flaws--it loses its punch halfway through, but the creativity and imagery of this film excited me on an aesthetic, visceral level. I can't really tell you what it is about...it's just one of those films you'll have to see for yourself. This is my first Terry Gilliam movie and I am curious to watch more of his movies. If you like bizarre, dark fantasy flicks you'll like this weird film. Trailer below: 

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (Review)

Cheesy black and white horror films are an acquired taste, I know. But I love them! Especially if I can watch for free on YOUTUBE.

This movie was made in 1962 and pretty much runs like its title. A mad scientist crashes his car, thus decapitating his fiancee and killing her. He brings her back to life by taking the head to his secret lab and injecting it with a serum that allows it to talk, think, and perform telepathic powers (unbeknownst to him).

In search of a body to attach his would-be wife's head, the mad scientist prowls strip bars and bikini model contests. When he finally selects a victim to perform the transplant, his fiancee conspires with a mutant creature locked in the cellar to thwart his murderous plan. The climax concludes with more decapitation and severed limbs and the fiancee screaming triumphantly within the flames: "I told you to let me die!"

*Grins*

If I had to grade this movie? C+ But it's bloody good fun and something my boyfriend and I could watch together while he was away. I admit, I laughed a few times throughout the film from its absurdity...but that's the beauty of these retro films.