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Friday, December 24, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Ho! Ho! Ho! May your holiday season be merry and bright! Happy holidays! And have a great day! 



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Don't Ask Don't Tell


...Need I say more? Huge victory for us! But...I do have my doubts. (Click for a ridiculous slightly off-topic video by College Humor


Taken from the Huffington Post:

Bravo to the Senate for joining the House in repealing "Don't Ask Don't Tell." It is a victory to relish, especially because the law epitomized the Clinton style of unabashed, two-faced opportunism and because John McCain and his gaggle of bigots lost. But two cheers only, not three.
The problem is not just that the administration and the Senate leadership took so long getting there or that the Commander-in-Chief didn't stop DADT implementation before Congress acted. No doubt, in this matter, as in so many others, Obama didn't want to antagonize the military brass, his nominal underlings. Still, Obama apologists are busy making the case that the administration did the best it could, and that this legislation is somehow on a par with the Civil Rights Acts of 1964. This from the same apologists who hailed Obama's health care (actually, insurance) reform as the most important piece of social legislation since Medicare - notwithstanding the fact that, for whatever good it does (or will eventually do), it does almost nothing to cut costs and absolutely nothing to undo the stranglehold the insurance industry, Big Pharma, and the for-profit health care industry have over our nation's physical and financial well-being. In fact, it enhances the profiteers' power and wealth.
In time, journalists and historians will deflate this latest batch of exaggerations. In the meanwhile, we can be thankful that institutional discrimination was defeated and that Obama did no gratuitous harm getting there. The contrast with the (failed) DREAM Act is striking. There, the administration's strategy was to increase repression, deportations especially, in the hope of winning "bipartisan" support. Predictably, they were wrong; devastatingly so for the victims of their efforts. Obama's pandering to nativists and racists was also politically stupid, as Latino voters, the most malignly neglected of all the core constituency groups Obama takes for granted, will surely make clear.
Part of the reason why even an administration that is incapable of bold leadership succeeded in shepherding DADT repeal through Congress is that public opinion, even in the military, was strongly in favor. One would not have thought it possible just a few decades ago, but Hispanics are evidently now more despised than homosexuals. Perhaps, in the long run, there is moral progress, but lately it looks like what progress there has been in the past two or three decades has only been redistributed, not advanced.
In any case, my reason for withholding a third cheer has nothing to do with the shortcomings of Obama or the Democratic leadership. It has to do with line taken by the repeal's supporters.
In taking aim at discrimination within the military, they said not a word against the military itself or the uses to which it is put. Instead, they implied support. To put the point only somewhat facetiously, equality works both ways. Instead of demanding that homosexuals be treated like heterosexuals, how salutary it would have been if someone had demanded that everybody not gay be treated as gays are, putting the military out of business. Needless to say, no one did.
Of course, we need a military; all countries do, for defense. But that's not remotely what our military is about. Its job is to make the world safe for American corporations by keeping the empire in line - sometimes, as with the wars now ongoing, to the point of putting the people of the United States at greater, not lesser, risk. Yet repeal supporters took the line that ending DADT would enhance, not impede, military efficacy; and they were so unambivalent in pressing this case that even Joe Lieberman could champion their cause.
The stance repeal advocates assumed is of a piece with the "support the troops" sloganeering that has increasingly deformed our political culture - making "wars of choice," as if we nowadays fight any other kind, ever easier to fall into. Support the troops, by all means; but not in the way those who use that awful slogan intend.
When Richard Nixon ended the draft, it was mainly to keep the country from falling apart and thereby to keep America's imperialist project on course. He knew what he was doing; if we still had a draft, Bush would have had a much harder time starting his endless wars, and he and Obama would have had a much harder time keeping them going. But those days are gone forever if only because the "Defense" Department understands, better than anybody, that no matter how great its need for cannon fodder, the last thing the military needs is conscripts.
Nixon's plan would not have worked for long if we still had early-70s levels of well-paying, union jobs. Who, after all, would 'volunteer' to kill or be killed, maim or be maimed if there was a reasonable alternative? Perhaps a few "patriots" in the thrall of the illusion that fighting imperialism's wars is good for their country (as distinct from the elites who run it); and no one else. But we all know what happened. Successive administrations, heeding the wishes of the corporate malefactors who rule in Washington, pursued policies encouraging deindustrialization and deunionization, giving rise to disabling levels of inequality and to the immiseration of many working-class and "minority" communities. Thus it became possible for the military to fill its personnel requirements through economic conscription alone. If only for allowing their conditions of life to deteriorate so palpably, we owe our economic conscripts a great deal - not for their "service" (through no fault of their own, they do their country a disservice) but for having put them, or allowed them to be put, in the position we did.
Once upon a time, there were Democrats, not many but some, who would have understood this. But that was before Democrats bought into the urban legend that returnees from Vietnam were routinely spat upon, and before the idea had taken hold that the party's success depends on putting that association to rest. In fact, it was the government which (metaphorically) spat on its troops and especially on its veterans - and the worst offenders of all were the chicken hawks of the Bush administration. But no matter, Democrats have joined the chorus. Whether out of genuine conviction or mere self-interest, they have become second to none in "supporting the troops" - or, in other (less Orwellian) words, for putting them in harm's way.
Was there an inkling of awareness of how debilitating this state of affairs is in the agitation to repeal DADT? If so, it was well concealed. So, yes, if someone must do the empire's dirty work, it is better that the institution missioned with that task not discriminate. But, to paraphrase Marx, Groucho not Karl, who wants to live in an institution! Especially that one.
In general, when Obama takes a step forward, he takes two steps back; the health care reform is an example. To its credit, the DADT repeal movement did the opposite. By ending discrimination in the military, it took two steps forward and, by lending yet more credence to that disabling "support the troops" trope, only one step back. This is why it warrants cheers, but not the full three. 

Friday, December 17, 2010

My dog is not smexxxy...

...yeah, I know it's Friday and I'm supposed to do a smexxxy friday but instead I wanted to gush over how my dog has been featured on The Daily Corgi for their dog of the month! Yippee! 


Check her out! 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Where do you like to read?

A recent post by Dead End Follies got me thinking about where people do their reading. So where do YOU like to read? Here's my top 5 list:



  1. The couch (most of my reading is done here)
  2. The library
  3. Local coffee shops
  4. Outside in a park or the beach
  5. The toilet (I do a fair amount of comic book reading *ahem Yaoi* on the toilet!) 

Monday, December 13, 2010

Rejected!

How do you deal with rejections as a writer? 




I was rejected recently by a publisher I really really really wanted to get into. Of course, I was being overly ambitious (sending my manuscript to the very TOP of my submission list) but I already knew ahead of time that my chances of being accepted were slim, at best. There are some writers who take rejections way too personally and others who are hardly fazed by the experience. So I want to know how YOU handle rejections? 


Honestly...I'm mostly apathetic toward my rejections. More so if it's done by the standard rejection form letter. If they can't be bothered to tell me WHY I was rejected, I can't be bothered to submit there again. Also, rejections are 100% subjective. Being rejected does not mean that you SUCK as a writer. It simply means the editors aren't looking for that particular whatever. You can be rejected 8 million or 8 billion times but it only takes ONE acceptance to get your manuscript published! Shop around on Duotrope long enough and eventually you'll find a home for your story. 


Anyways, now that I've been rejected at my top pick, and I can submit to my second best choice...and on it goes! In the meantime, I should write something else during the holiday break! 


Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal!  

Friday, December 10, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Trendy or Trashy? You decide. Apparently, this is the latest and greatest fad in Japan right now. I wouldn't be caught dead in these hoochie-mama jeans! I'm black. My ass would hang all out of that thing, ahaha!  


Linky link: http://japan-chic.com/japan-bikini-pants-sannas-brazil-fashion.html



Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I love Craigslist

You can read the whole thing HERE but here's a short preview of what was posted on Craigslist: 

Dear University Alumni Office, 
I'm sorry to hear that the university's $750 million endowment has fallen in value to $500 million because of the recession and because your bank died. I'm also sorry to hear that you're dealing with declining enrollment due to the fact that middle-class families are no longer willing or able to bet their homes on a $45,000-a-year higher education for their children. I really am. 
So, what I want to know is, why are you wasting money on glossy fundraising brochures full of meaningless synonyms for the word "Excellence"? And, why are you sending them to ME? Yes, I know that I got a master's degree at your fine institution, but that master's degree hasn't done jack shit for me since I got it! I have been unemployed for the past TWO YEARS and I am now a professional resume-submitter, sending out dozens of resumes a month to employers, and the degree I received in your hallowed halls is at the TOP OF IT and it doesn't do a fucking thing. 
You know, maybe if you wanted a little bit of money from me (and these days you'd get about $3) maybe you should send me a fancy color brochure admitting your role in the bubble economics that got us all in to this mess. 
For example, since 1987, higher education expenses have gone up 450 percent, while personal income in this country has gone up 87 percent, making tuition IMPOSSIBLE to afford without special financing. But, during this time, you were thriving because people could come up with the cash in two ways: 
1. Get a home equity loan and use the inflated value of their house to pay for their kid to get drunk and/or raped at your school and then lose the house when the market crashed. 
2. Get a federal loan. 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Building a cage!

It's not finished yet...we're still waiting on the coroplast, but Operation Guinea Pig is a go! I'm having so much fun picking out accessories and toys for my little piggies! It took my boyfriend and I 4hrs to get all the supplies you see here. I don't know how the holiday shoppers do it! It was a madhouse out there! 
This is the C&C cage we built. I obviously picked out the blankets and fabric. (My boyfriend is putting his masculinity aside by allowing Hello Kitty into our apartment, hee!) We still need to reinforce the bottom with coroplast (corrugated plastic) and wrap the ramp with fleece but I'm quite proud of it so far. It's a 2x4 cage with a 1x2 loft (kitchen area).
The materials were a BITCH to find. We went to four different stores to find these grids (finally found them at Bed Bath and Beyond, fyi). We used over 100 zip ties and two packets of those storage cube grids. We'll have to go to a sign shop to get the coroplast, but all in all...it was a fun way to spend a Saturday. 
Because we'll be traveling for the holidays, it would be irresponsible to pick up the guinea pigs now (as much as I would love to!) When the cage is finished and when we're back in town, we'll begin the actual adoption process! We plan to adopt two little girl piggies from a local rescue. I'll keep you guys updated on our progress! 

Friday, December 3, 2010

Smexxxy Friday



...I've found bizarre visual cues to help you out this weekend. I happen to enjoy #6 best, personally. But what's with the monkey in #5...? Have a good weekend. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Thinking about new pets...

I would love to have a guinea pig or two! They're so cute! And my boyfriend and I don't have the space for another dog or a cat. A guinea pig would be perfect! I've never had a guinea pig before, though, so do they make good pets? 

I've been looking at C and C cages with the pretty fleece blankets (as depicted in the video). So darling! Maybe Santa will put a piggy under my x-mas tree this year! 



Tuesday, November 30, 2010

11/10: Media of the Month!!!!!!

This was posted on Craigslist. This is hilarious. Only on Craigslist. 

Monday, November 29, 2010

Go see "Tangled!"



It's a good movie. :) Even better in 3D. Mandy Moore is off the charts adorable! 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

What's your speed?

I've never understood writers who could crank out 40k+ words in like...a month. Yeah, I'm looking at you NaNo Nerds! How do you do it? Chug down a pack of Four Loko drinks in one sitting?! 

I've been around the writing circuit for a while and I believe there are three kinds of writers when we're talking about speed. 

1. The Technicians: These guys are the ones like Stephen King. They set aside a daily word count and find the time to crank it out on paper. These writers are the planners. They can plod through an entire 70k novel in like...two months and who successfully finish NaNoWriMo. Technicians are diligent and methodical. They make writing look easy (when it isn't!) and can publish 5 or 6 books in a year while balancing a 9-to-5 job and 3 kids. I am in envy of these people. 


2. The Dreamers: These are the ones who rely on "inspiration" alone to finish their manuscripts. When the mood strikes them, they can sit down and create something. However, because inspiration isn't necessarily a "timed" or "consistent" phenomenon, it can take these writers months...even years to get through a novel. Dreamers can spend 24hrs+ writing feverishly and then go months between projects waiting on their next "muse." I happen to be a Dreamer. When I do sit down to write, I do so for hours at a time--often at the expense of other things, like attending classes, eating, sleeping, or feeding the dog. I once spent 27hrs straight writing a novella. My poor step-mother actually brought food to my room and forced me to eat because I hadn't eaten that day. I was too "juiced up" to think about food or sleep. 


3. The Hobbyists: We all know these writers. These are the ones who hardly ever finish a novel, or who start five or six novels at a time without any real concern to publish any of them. These writers take pleasure in the writing process itself. They write because it gives them something to do. When they get the time, they might write a poem or two...but Hobbyists don't take themselves too seriously and usually don't expect anyone else to either. Their motivation does not stem from compulsion (like the Dreamers) or ambition (like the Technicians) but from recreational pleasure. Some bloggers and fan-fiction writers could fall into this category. 

So which are you? 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Don't touch my junk, TSA...

I know many of you will be traveling for the holidays...so in lieu of the recent TSA debacle I thought I'd share some funny reading/viewing material to ease the pain.
You tell'em Adam Savage!

Penn Jillette (from Penn&Teller: Bullshit) shares a hilarious story of his "sexual assault" on his blog. It's old...but relevant to the times. 
Enjoy the "cranky" goodness.


Have a happy happy Thanksgiving! 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Smexxxy Friday


Jamelia...the hottest Australian chick I know! Too bad here in America we don't hear or see much of her. Her voice is amazing and this music video is definitely SMEXXXY!

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Bill vs. Geraldo

I found this nugget of gold while cyber searching the net today. Every time Bill O Reilly screams, I am thoroughly entertained. He's far more entertaining than that horrible Parker Spitzer bullshit on CNN. Honestly, I only watch these 24hr news programs to laugh...never to take their "journalism" seriously anymore. 


Let the screaming match begin! 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My dog is famous!

Check her out at The Daily Corgi! 
I'm not one of those puppy-moms who thinks their dogs are real people, I promise. But I'm so proud of her! So I wanted to share. Please excuse my boyfriend's horrible camera skills... (warning you in advance) 
But on a side note...and as some of you have already guessed...
I really really love animals. Perhaps more than I like most people. In another life I was a dog trainer and former zoo keeper, so yeah. I could seriously do a whole blog dedicated to my furry friends, but I won't bore anyone with that. Besides...cannibals are supposed to be ruthless unfeeling monsters. I can't tarnish my "bloodthirsty serial killer" image, now can I? And would ANY of you take me seriously otherwise?
Anyways, I want to thank all my new followers for joining and putting up with my absence. It has become kinda drafty and lonely in here hasn't it? Sorry about that. Mid-terms are literally turning my hair gray. Then there's grad school and the frickin' GREs to worry about. ON TOP OF THAT HEADACHE, I've been working with my editor for a December release at Sapphire Blue Publishing while drafting and half-starting new stories... and the holidays are fast approaching which brings up a whole different kind of headache I couldn't begin to tell you. I feel like I'm gonna break! 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Mmmm....man candy. They come in so many delicious flavors.


Skinny Asian boys are my favorite guilty pleasure! Oppa, Saranghaeyo! Daisuki! Wo Ai Ni! 


Djimon Hounsou is the epitome of smexxxy, don't you think? Gosh, he's like a dark chocolate candy bar! I just wanna lick him up before he melts! Woo... *fans self* 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Taking a quick break...

I'll be taking a short break from blogging for a bit. But don't worry...I'll be back to bring doom and gloom into your lives in a week or so. In the meantime, please enjoy the scheduled Smexxxy Fridays I have planned for you guys! 


~Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal! 

Friday, November 5, 2010

Smexxxy Friday (Mormon Masturbation)

I don't have anything against Mormons but this is just...hysterical, lol. Happy reading! 


IF YOU MASTURBATE YOU WILL GO TO HELL!!!!! (By suggestion 19, I was literally crying with laughter)


MASTURBATION WILL TURN YOU INTO A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!


(This one is fake but I thought it was funny anyway...)
PORNOGRAPHY FORBIDDEN,  BUT VICTORIA SECRET CATALOGUES OK!!! 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mainstream vs. Fringe Writers



Are you a fringe writer or are you a mainstream writer? Do you follow trends or do you set them? It's that simple. Me? I've always been a trend-setter and I don't plan on joining the bubblegum-popcorn-crowd any time soon. 


A large part of being a writer is figuring out WHAT YOUR POINT is. I absolutely hate reading a book only to go: "so?!" after I put it down. Maybe I'm being too cerebral, but I detest authors who publish stuff without some sort of "message" or "focus." I feel like I've wasted my time as the reader. If all they're trying to do is entertain the masses with pointless, frivolous drivel, I want no part of it. I want to know something about the author afterwards. So don't give me another vampire book just because "it's in style" right now. 


My stories usually have an ironic message or some social commentary. I don't just "write stuff" for the sake of being published. No, I'm trying to impart a message and my point of view. I want my readers to THINK. Perhaps I'm not always successful, but it is important that I try. 


Books can change the world, and often, they have! Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin," Upton Sinclair's, "The Jungle," Charles Dickens', "A Christmas Carol" and or even (to some degree) books like Harry Potter, Dracula, Sherlock Holmes or other "genre" novels have also changed what we think of as "pop culture" too. If all these writers had just written what was "trendy" we would not be the society we are today. 


The pen is mightier than the sword. Break away from the sheeple-minded writers and do your own thing. Don't be afraid of originality. Sometimes it's okay to stay on the fringes. You may not get as many acceptances (as publishers tend to go with what's "safe" as opposed to what's "ground-breaking) but never compromise your point of view! 

Friday, October 29, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

I have a thing for masks and helmets. A masquerade ball would be like...seriously...my dream orgy scenario. It is one of the reasons I get so excited about Halloween! All those masks! I keep trying to get my boyfriend into THE STIG'S costume (Top Gear reference, car nerds will understand) or even the DAFT PUNK'S getup...but he refuses. :(


Um...this scene from Eyes Wide Shut really appeals to me. That's the kind of orgy I wanna sign up for! Without the killing and everything this would be perfect. Like seriously.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Have you ever watched a movie that was so bizarre and confusing that it haunted you weeks after you finished watching it?


The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus has done that for me. The movie itself has flaws--it loses its punch halfway through, but the creativity and imagery of this film excited me on an aesthetic, visceral level. I can't really tell you what it is about...it's just one of those films you'll have to see for yourself. This is my first Terry Gilliam movie and I am curious to watch more of his movies. If you like bizarre, dark fantasy flicks you'll like this weird film. Trailer below: 


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Revisions And Your Editor


Ah...the necessary (and inevitable) agony of editing your manuscript. As any writer with half a brain will tell ya, finishing your story is only the first step toward the final product. What follows next is a never-ending cycle of revisions, critiques, beta-readers, and finally (if your story is good enough to be accepted by an agent/publisher) your editor. *insert terrified girly scream* Omigod, run! The Dreaded Editor is approaching!

Hee, I'm just joking. Sort of.

You see, for many writers, dealing with their editor is an intimidating part of the writing process. Editors do not think twice about dicing, slicing, and hacking manuscripts into total (unrecognizable) oblivion for the sake of grammatical perfection and length requirements. They are usually not concerned (or yet cognizant) of the writer's perceived "Artistic Genius" (sarcasm.) So coincidentally, you will likely develop a love-hate relationship with this person for the weeks leading up to your release date.

But it's not all bad news!

Your editor's obsessive need to insert semi-colons and eradicate dialogue tags has a useful purpose! At the end of the day, your editor's job is to help you (although it may not seem that way at the time!) and without them, the literary world would be a sorry sight indeed. Even the best writer can make improvements and it is the editor's job to point these out.

However, every once in a while a writer faces off a particularly "draconian" assailant. For this, you should definitely stick up for your manuscript and say "no." If the editor is pushing too hard or trying to change your story into something you're not comfortable with, speak up! But first, assess whether or not your objections stem from sensitivity or ego before contradicting your editor--if that's not the case, state your reasons for why their changes won't work for you. The manuscript is YOUR work. You gotta say something if you're unsure.

It may be a rough ride for some writers (more so if they're particularly sensitive to harsh criticism) but the end result makes it worthwhile. Grow a thick skin (if you're going to succeed as a professional writer at all, you're going to need one!) and work on your skills. The best part about the editing process is that once it's over, it's OVER! The rest is all fun stuff, like working with a cover artist and seeing your story hit the shelves.

At least for me, there's no greater feeling than that!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Stop Piracy!

http://www.washingtonwatch.com/bills/show/111_SN_3804.html?page=2#usercomments


You can help keep writers in business with your vote! Piracy has got to stop! 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Juan Williams

The recent firing of Juan WIlliams got me thinking of a video on youtube I saw a few weeks ago. If you haven't heard, basically the guy was fired from NPR for his comments about Muslims on the Bill O'Riley show. If you live under a rock and have yet to hear or see his comments take a gander HERE. This situation kinda relates to the discussion we had earlier about multiculturalism. 
Anyways, I thought I'd share this funny video with y'all. It was made in 2008 but it ties in perfectly with Juan Williams and this whole NPR fiasco, haha! 
Listen up and get schooled, homies:



ETA: I'm not condoning or condemning Juan Williams one way or the other. In truth, I had more of a problem with Bill O'Riley's statements in that clip than Juan's. But both, IMO, said stupid shit. 

Friday, October 22, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Last video of Tyler, I promise. But you enjoyed the Bunny Boiler videos, didn't you?

This time she tries to snag someone's man at the beach.


Bunny Boiler At The Beach - The most amazing videos are a click away

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Why Interracial/Multicultural Books Piss Me Off

The first thing I look for when submitting to a romance/erotic publisher is if they carry a interracial/multicultural section (even before checking GLBTQI sections!) If not, I usually do not submit to that publisher. 'Nuff said. What's even worse is that the publishers that DO have IR/M titles are sadly lacking in "diversity" if you can believe that. And that's what pisses me off about a lot of the IR/M books on the shelves right now. 

Now as you all know, I ONLY write IR/M erotica or romance. I DO NOT (and will not) write a story unless one of the major character is of color. Period. No ifs ands or buts. It's my modus operandi and I plan on sticking to it, regardless of genre. There are literally thousands of books about white people. *eye roll* People of color get left in the dust OR (which pisses me off even more) are written into books by white authors who out of ignorance (or worse) "white liberalism" end up portraying people of color in condescending or cliched roles. *cough* Secret Life of Bees, anyone? *cough*  The Help (good lord, that book makes me want to scream) or To Kill A Mockingbird? *hack, wheeze, vomit* Gimme a frickin' break! 

So to see a multicultural or interracial romance at all is a refreshing change of pace. I should be leaping for joy, right? Wrong. Most of the IR books out there I see are written by black women (w00t@ge! Represent, ladies!) lusting over white men. I don't have a problem with that necessarily, but when every single IR/M book on the shelf is about a black woman and a white man, I start to get pissed off! Where's the diversity?! I want to see books with Asian or Hispanic main characters! And why does every "interracial pairing" have to be with a white person anyway? Why not an interracial romance with all minorities? 

But no. You don't see that. Just the standard black heroine and her white male hero. OR African-American themed books, only. That's it. "Multiculturalism" my ass! 

I am in the movement to get Asian, Hispanic, Middle-Eastern, etc. authors (and characters) onto the shelves as well. We need a true "multicultural" presence here, and I have yet to see it. I have been desperate to find blogs like White Readers Meet Black Authors for other racial groups, but have yet to discover them. 

If any of you know of cool sites like that will you let me know? 

TK 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Didn't win my last contest?

You have a chance to win something on From TBR Pile. You can win Free Fall by Mindi Scott, Nightshade by Andrea Cremer, or The Replacement. Everybody loves free stuff, so come on over and try it out! 


~Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal! 

Sunday, October 17, 2010

And the winner is...

Guys, you should all be proud of yourselves. ALL of the comments were hilarious and I want to thank each and every one of you who played and took part in this. You're all winners in my book, but alas, I can only select one person to receive the prize.
So the winning de-motivational poster is... 

Congratulations, Peter Varvel! I showed the winning poster to many of my friends and they all laughed (my boyfriend thinks you are hysterical...he got a kick out of all of your captions) In honor of your victory, I think we ALL should dance to the original pumpkin crack dolls *ahem* Pussy Cat Dolls right now! 

In a close second place was Sarah's comment: "Spiderman's Nemesis: Chocolate Covered Crickets and Fly-Filled Tootsie Pops." And in third was junebug2591's: "...I'm not the father am I?" 
Excellent race, guys! Round of applause for all of you! 
Peter, you can collect your winnings by emailing me at: tkturner.writer@gmail.com 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Fun FREE Book Giveaway Contest!

Day 5: Say "Cheese!"



Friday, October 15, 2010

Fun FREE Book Giveaway Contest!

Day 4: Spiderman's Nemesis




Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fun FREE Book Giveaway Contest!

Day 3: Flashing Scarecrows




Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fun FREE Book Giveaway Contest!

Day 2: Little Hitler Costume


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Fun FREE Book Giveaway Contest!

Starting today you can win! So let me break down the contest rules!

WHAT: Anyone and everyone is eligible to play. But only ONE of you will receive a free copy of my horror anthology on Halloween.

HOW: The funniest, wittiest, and or naughtiest response wins! Your job is to write a fake caption for a "de-motivational poster" for at least ONE of the photos I put up. If you choose to do more than one, that's cool as it improves your chances of winning and it'll make the contest more fun.

This is what I'm looking for:




Only the pictures I post won't have the captions. You'll have to provide them in your comments! Please make sure I can contact you later in case you win!

WHEN: Five days for five pictures starting today. And on the weekend I'll announce the winner and post the fake "motivational poster." You have five chances to win, so impress me.

WHY: Because it's fun! And getting into the Halloween spirit is what I do best. *wink*

Everyone clear on the rules? Yeah? Okay? Alright, let the contest begin! Good luck!

Day 1: Drunk Pumpkins



Monday, October 11, 2010

Do you wanna win?


I'm hosting my first giveaway contest tomorrow! The lucky winner will receive a FREE copy of my horror anthology on Halloween! Yay! It's my gift to you guys, hee!

Anyone is open and eligible to play but only one will win. Just a head's up. But no worries, the contest will be fun--I promise. So stay tuned for details!

Good luck!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Let's face it, condom commercials score extra points for creativity. Enjoy what I selected for this week's smexxxy friday fun! ;D

Sound check...1...2...3...


Someone on youtube commented something about the KKK...


I didn't know they made condoms this...big.


Today's lesson? Always keep condoms in your car.

Watch all the way to the end, hahaha!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Beauty Image

Since we're on the subject of beauty image, I thought I'd share a few interesting videos on the subject.

What do you think?



Have we as a society created an unattainable image of perfection?


90% of what we see in magazines and television is re-touched or photoshopped.

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