I'm about to let you guys in on the biggest secret ever known to man. This is huge. Like...top-secret at the Pentagon huge. Don't know you if you guys will be able to handle it...but here it is:
Meet my owl. Mr. Wise One. He has crazy amazing superpowers. I put him on and BAM...I can crank out 8,000 words in one day! It's that epic. For a short spell, I have mutant writing strength! The ideas just flow from my fingers and onto my keyboard! Nothing I write is crap! I can actually meet my deadlines! I'm over 21,000 words into my new novel! Holy shit!!!!
Sorry but...I can't tell you where I found Mr. Wise One. But I'll give you a hint. Forever 21. And I think he was like $7. Off to finish chapter six! Over and out, minions!