And the winner is...

Guys, you should all be proud of yourselves. ALL of the comments were hilarious and I want to thank each and every one of you who played and took part in this. You're all winners in my book, but alas, I can only select one person to receive the prize.

So the winning de-motivational poster is... 

Congratulations, Peter Varvel! I showed the winning poster to many of my friends and they all laughed (my boyfriend thinks you are hysterical...he got a kick out of all of your captions) In honor of your victory, I think we ALL should dance to the original pumpkin crack dolls *ahem* Pussy Cat Dolls right now! 

In a close second place was Sarah's comment: "Spiderman's Nemesis: Chocolate Covered Crickets and Fly-Filled Tootsie Pops." And in third was junebug2591's: "...I'm not the father am I?" 
Excellent race, guys! Round of applause for all of you! 
Peter, you can collect your winnings by emailing me at: tkturner.writer@gmail.com