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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Did You Enjoy Your Holiday, Fatty?



I hate this time of year. The holidays are over and the relatives have thankfully flown back to the other side of the country. You stuffed your face with cakes and pies, and now the inevitable realization of your indulgences are ever apparent to you as you stare at the scale on your bathroom floor. Oh yes. The scale was always there in the back of your mind as you gorged on turkey and cookies. And now you have the pooch on your stomach to prove it. 


You know what I'm talking about. The New Year's Resolution. Which translates to any female over 12yrs old as: "You Fat Heifer, Why Did You Gain So Much Weight?!" Time to hit the gym. And it's NOT going to be pretty. 


I always wonder to myself, WHY do I do this? Why even bother making a New Years Resolution if I'm not going to keep it? And every year I promise myself, THIS time, THIS year, I'm going to lose the weight! Then I quit after 2 weeks and forget about it until next year. 


Well I tell you what, THIS time it's going to be different (haha, don't laugh!) I reckon I need to lose about 20lbs. I used to be a size 4...now I'm a size *gasp* 10!!! OMIGOD! My innocent boyfriend bought me this lovely skirt for x-mas and I couldn't get it over my hips to wear it. It was then that I realized how serious the situation had become. *sob sob* 


I've published it on my blog, so now I HAVE to lose the weight. The whole world knows I'm a cow. I'm determined to change this. 


So what's your New Years Resolution? 



2 comments:

Michan said...

my New Year's Resolution is to lose weight also and to try and appreciate my image more. But i'm taking different roads to reach my goals. I'm starting to cut myself off from certain things like drinking more water instead of soda, no candy unless for a treat, and only grande Chai Teas(no more venti). for my image, I tried a new hairdo to start off and find something i like about myself everyday.

we'll see how that goes! :)

Vegetarian Cannibal said...

That's a good New Year's Resolution, Michan. What sorta hair do are you trying now? :D

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