Sunday, October 30, 2011

Cannibalistic Confessions

It is hard to be cannibal in this world. We are so misunderstood and people are so quick to judge us. The media paints us all as these bloodthirsty monsters and serial killers! But it's not true! Not all cannibals are bad people. In fact, most of the ones I've spoken to have been quiet, soft-spoken individuals with a curious affinity for taxidermy and fine red wines. 

Cannibals can be reasonable. We can have intelligent, thoughtful discussions about current events. We pay our taxes and we try to get by the best way we can. We're not all crazy. Hungry, maybe, but not criminally insane-. At the end of the day we are still human beings. 

I will not stand for these atrocious injustices against cannibals any longer! We are a proud people with a long and rich history, and we deserve respect. I write this post to rally all the cannibals across the world to pick up their pens and write to their legal representatives about this matter! Do not persecute us for craving human flesh! 


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