Wednesday, March 30, 2011

How NOT to respond to bad reviews

This has already gone viral and it happened this Monday. So perhaps you've heard about this. For new authors everywhere, be warned: when you get a bad review, do NOT respond to the reviewer. If you do choose to respond back, BE POLITE! 

This writer's meltdown is a lesson for all of us. She's become a cautionary tale (in just two days!) of what NOT to do! Remember, the small-press/indie community is very doesn't take much to go from nobody to notoriety.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Top Ten Mistakes Writers Make...

I LOVE this website. I use it as my #1 resource when I'm writing. 

I'm guilty of empty adverbs, "to be" words, and repeats, I'm afraid. *sigh* How about you? 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Cannibalistic Confessions

I remember when "The Lovely Bones" was so popular and when everyone and their grandmother RAVED about the book. I don't follow trends or fads. So when someone says "X is great" I tend to do Y just to spite them. People who follow fads are stupid and most of them wouldn't know how to spot a good book even if it leapt off the shelf and flung itself between their eyes. Or, of course, if Oprah told them so.

But "The Lovely Bones" was on HBO or something, so I sat down and watched it. Halfway through the movie, I wanted to punch myself for decision. I'm not kidding...with five minutes of movie left to go I was done. There was no way I could sit through it anymore. My boyfriend begged me to keep watching just we could see the ending, but I had stomached as much of it as I could. In the end, he snatched the remote from me and forced me to watch the last five minutes.'s the movie in a nutshell.

Creepy pedo-neighbor dude rapes and murders girl. Girl goes to heaven and stalks this boy and her lesbian friend back on earth. Her family tries to solve the case but in the end, never do. Girl possesses the body of her lesbian friend and makes out with the boy. She goes to heaven. The end.

However in the book...she basically RAPES her lesbian friend. She takes over her body without permission so she can have sex with this boy. Um...OK? Unprotected teenage sex = entrance into heaven? WTF?! What was the POINT of this dumbass story? She didn't help anyone solve her own murder OR save other children from being raped and killed! All she wanted to do was make goo-goo eyes at this boy.

Peter Jackson directed this maybe that should've been my first clue. The special effects were really pretty...but there was no substance. I kept waiting for it it to get good...but Nothing Ever Happened.

And THIS is why I don't follow fads. The only thing I loved about this movie was this song.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Respecting your characters

I don't give a shit about most of my characters. I torture and eat their babies. I give them horrible ironic deaths. I put them in impossible situations just to push their moral boundaries. I do this because their pain amuses me. They are my play-things and I have no respect for them. 

Which is becoming a problem...

I'm writing a novel now...and dammit...I actually have to give a crap about my main character. As a short story writer, I didn't have to invest much time and energy into my characters' personalities and backstories. None of that mattered to me. They weren't really "people." Just dolls to play with when I was bored. And as you know, my attention span is that of a gnat's. 

But a novel is completely different. You have to know your characters. Like really, KNOW them. Care for them, even. I have to think of my characters as friends or at least as "people." I have to throw myself entirely into their world and leave my own life behind. It's an engrossing process that takes time and diligence. 

Can I close my eyes and visualize this person? How should they talk? What motivates them? Is this character behaving authentically? And would I talk to this person in real life? 

When I'm bored, I can't just kill them off or randomly set their families on fire. That's immature and far too easy. They are alive in their stories, waiting for me to direct them to their climax and resolution. 

So in a way, I am their goddess...and as such, it is my responsibility to carry it through to the end. *sigh* 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Spring Fucking Break! Woohoo!

Hell fucking yeah, y'all! It's about damn time! GAWD! I'm so burned out from school, I don't even know what to tell you. It's been a struggle. I don't know if it's because I'm a senior and this is my last semester or what...but OH MY GOD I'm so happy it's spring break! 

I'm 22yrs old and I'm going to PARTY this year. Gonna get wasted in Mexico. Like, stupid drunk. I don't care, lol! I'm not staying home...sooooooooo that means I'll be away from this blog for a little bit. 

If you don't hear back from me...go ahead and assume the drug cartels have taken me hostage and sold me into slave trafficking. *grins* Don't look so worried...they only kidnap blondes so I should be fine. Right?  

Have an AWESOME spring break! I sure as hell will enjoy mine! 

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Baby Inspector

My horror flash story is published at Sex and Murder magazine! Huzzah! Um...I can't promise you that no babies were harmed in the making of this story. I mean, I think babies are delicious so...yeah. *shrug* 

~Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal! 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Smexxxy Friday (Cowgirls?)

What is it about cowgirls people find so irresistible? Is it her "free spirit?" Her short frilly skirt? Her ability to wield a gun and ride a horse? What IS it? 

In Texas, I see a lot of cowgirls. Like...literally, they're everywhere. And I have to admit, when I first moved here, I couldn't help but laugh at them. Huge oversized hats, obnoxious leather boots and skimpy outfits seemed a little much for a fashion statement...not to mention the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders who are plastered just about everywhere where I live. Hard to take these gals seriously. But I guess that's the point. 

The modern "cowgirl" doesn't know the first thing about frontier life--she'd rather hang out at Starbucks and text her friends than jump on a saddle and round up cattle. The "cowgirl" has become something of an "aesthetic," and as much as I tried to abstain from absorbing Texas culture, I'm ashamed to admit I've finally cracked. 

Yes. I eat fried pickles (and fucking LOVE them). I can order a meal in Spanish (Una cerveza pour favor!) I adore Tex-Mex (Mmmm...can we say chile relleno?) I no longer mind seeing longhorns strapped on the hood of pickup trucks. And I bought my first pair of cowgirl boots last weekend. 

After three years, I couldn't resist, dammit! I wanted to be a cowgirl too! So I present to you a violation of my 8yr boycott on leather products. 

Does this make me a hypocritical vegetarian? Yes. Most probably. But being a cannibal kinda puts me in the hypocritical category too, I guess. The boots were really cute. Soooooo...I made an exception, haha! Have a good weekend, guys! 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

New Release!!!

My newest publisher has released their first issue with MY poetry! I have three poems published in aaduna's first issue but all of the stories are amazing. I especially like Michelle Tan's, "Belonging To My Body," Cyd Charisse Fulton's, "Good News," Liberation Breed's, "Tuesday's Apocalypse," and Sunil Narayan's, "A Swan Who Wallows In Lotus Laden Ponds." It makes me so proud to be part of a talented and multiculturally diverse bunch of writers. Unlike my fellow colleagues at my other publishers, the writers at aaduna look and write like me. My issues are THEIR issues. I GET them and they get me. 

It's such a good feeling! 

Anyway, it won't cost you a thing, so go check it out when you get the time! 

Go aaduna! Go diversity! 

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