Monday, February 25, 2013

Nonlinear Narration

Nonlinear narration is when you tell your story out of chronological order. Think movies like Kill Bill, (500) Days of Summer, The Social Network, Pulp Fiction, Vanilla Sky, Memento, etc. Some of my most favorite movies/books use nonlinear narration. It may seem "radical" but nonlinear narration has been around since...well...the Iliad. There's nothing "new" or "fancy" about nonlinear narration...but "mainstream audiences" rarely inform themselves on such things. Nonlinear narratives can confuse audiences if the story arc isn't handled properly or if the plot is too loose. So my dear minions, if you're going to use a nonlinear narrative, make sure you keep the action tight. Don't stray too far into the Tragic Epic Backstory of your characters. I LOATHE backstory flashbacks. Seldom are they informative or useful, however with nonlinear narration you can play around more with flashback techniques. 

Since my main character is a zombie (ha!) I think a nonlinear route is necessary. I've always admired the nonlinear narrative but I've never tried it before. So...this zombie erotica will be my first pathetic attempt at it. I was at an impasse with this WIP for the longest time--I literally deleted 20K+ words from my manuscript and started over. I was banging my head on my desk for two months...but I'm determined to challenge myself and finish this. This story speaks to me. It wants to be a novel, I can feel it. Still gunning for 50K-65K words. 

I might be too hard on myself. But now that I'm armed with a new idea and finally writing again, I feel much better about this project. :) 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Writers Are Divas. 'Nuff said.

We writers are a self-absorbed, whiny bunch, aren't we? We assume the words we write are worthy of consumption and discussion. We expect to be admired for our "originality" and "creativity," and when we present our work to faceless critics, we hope for mindless applause rather than honest scrutiny. We think we're pretty awesome at what we do. Otherwise we wouldn't bother slapping our manuscripts into the hands of weary editors and agents.

Yeah. Well. I'm going to admit I'm very much a diva in that way. And a perfectionist. When I was in high school, I flew into fits of rage whenever I sat down to edit my own work. Haha...I would look at my first draft, curse at how "stupid" and "dumb" it was, and then in pure diva-fashion, delete the entire 60K+ word manuscript from my harddrive. 

*cringe* I also remember acting a bit like a diva when I got my first full-request rejection from an agent. Lots of indignant snorting and tearful complaints to tolerant friends and my exasperated significant other. "Well 'eff them for not recognizing my artistic brilliance!" and so on. Hahaha...

You'd think we as writers would grow out of it...but no. We go on thinking we're supremely awesome and talented until the day we die. Oh yes, I'm shaking my head with shame as I type this sentence. No matter what, writers write. Even when we have all the evidence in the world to suggest we SUCK at it. We'll keep going. And we should keep going. 

Can you think of any diva moments you've experienced as a writer? 

Friday, February 15, 2013

2/13 Media of the Month: Romantically Apocalyptic

I've been giggling over this artbook all month. It has gorgeous photo-realism, radioactive high-fructose corn syrup, and lots of snark. Romantically Apocalyptic is a web comic by Vitaly S. Alexius. I ran into @zeecaptein by accident on twitter. Had no clue what it was but I loved his humorous sarcasm and orignal artwork and so I ended up purchasing the first limited edition book and digital soundtrack. They got mugs, t-shirts, and other crap to buy...but if you're going to buy anything Romantically Apocalyptic related, go get the artbook. 

I enjoy having it on my coffee table. Always good for a laugh. I plan to buy the second book when I get more money. *cries* The main website has all of the comics uploaded if you just wanna read without buying anything, there ya go. But the art is so pretty...why NOT buy it??? :D 

The characters are fun and the story itself is lighthearted. I recommend this book for anyone who likes sprawling post-apocalyptic landscapes and highly texturized art. Yes, I might have drooled a bit while leafing through the beautiful pages. Maybe you will too? Enjoy the rest of your valentine's day weekend! Over and out. 

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Character Count

A sign of weak writing (at least to ME) is when the author juggles more than 100 million "main" characters and is head popping every 5 seconds. But I'm pretty old skool and I try to keep my total character count under 15. Anything less than 10 is ideal. 

See, I don't use multiple POV at all. I stick with ONE character, ONE narrator, ONE limited POV throughout the entire book. Yes, that is harder to do because I can't rely on another literary device to explain away any writer inconveniences and my main character must have an incredibly strong voice/characterization to carry the weight of the novel...but it is a challenge I enjoy pulling off. 

I like writing "intensely" female protagonists for that reason. More so if my female protagonists are insane or psychologically impaired. Hysterical characters give me more to play with, haha. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

Smexxxy Friday

I think Portugese is a very sexy language. This song is my latest musical fixation.  Enjoy your weekend, minions.  

Monday, February 4, 2013

Byronic Hero

...A staple character in any gothic tale worth its salt, right?  *Sigh* I kinda got over the Byronic Hero in the 8th grade. Who really wants the bipolar, angsty white dude who acts like a total flaming asshole to everybody? More troubling, the "feminist" white women who are destined to become his sexual/romantic "conquests" are somehow (in the eyes of literary scholars) setting gender-positive messages by enduring his self-centered crap? Yes, I'm looking at you, Brontë sisters.  

Honestly I don't get it. But since my zombie erotica will be a southern gothic, I have to get this Byronic Hero thing down. Let's be clear. I've NEVER been attracted to this sort of personality. And I'm having a ridiculous time writing my Byronic Hero (or anti-hero/villain) in the "breathless, dreamy, sparkly" style of traditional gothic-romanticism. 

I literally had to start the story from scratch. I was writing my Byronic Hero more like...well...a psychopathic serial killer/rapist and less like the "Misunderstood Bad Boy" crap-o-la. I guess it is because I know Byronic Heroes do not EXIST outside the pages of romance-gothic novels. In real life, Byronic Heroes are mentally ill, abusive, serial killers, drug-addicts, pedophiles, con artists, and or rapists. And there's NOTHING sexy about that is there? 

I threw up in my mouth a little. Seriously. Then I deleted more than 10K words and decided to start over. This story is, perhaps, the HARDEST fucking thing I've ever attempted to write. I'm annoyed but determined to finish all 50K words of this novella. So help me gawd. This will be the BEST zombie civil war erotica on the market! *sobs quietly* Over and out. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

Smexxxy Friday (Silicone Penis Injection)

Meet Mister Mark--a strange man who thought it would be a good idea to inject silicone into his penis. He now fondly calls his member "The Blob." Hmmm but I wonder what we shall call it? :)

Mister Mark (HUGE silicone penis enlargement) powered by YouPorn.
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