Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Vertically Challenged Male

Well? What do you think? Is height a determining factor for you?

Too often when I read romance novels (or erotic stories) the male hero is always described as this tall, lanky hunk of a man. Taller than average. Bigger than average. Stronger than average.

But why?

In real life, does height and physical strength really matter all that much? Are shorter (smaller) guys just doomed and is there really no place for them in leadership roles?

I say NO. (As does my boyfriend--who happens to be a whopping 5ft 6in). In his own words my lovey says: "It shouldn't matter how tall you are, it's how you feel about yourself!" And I couldn't agree more. Confidence is sexy regardless how tall you are!

So why do we (as consumers) constantly sideline the vertically challenged in favor of taller, bulkier men? Like the female physique, are we setting impossible standards for men? Not every guy out there can look like Brad Pitt, and nor should he be expected to, however whenever we think of the classic "hero" character he is always the same 6ft+ with the rock hard 6-pack abdominals.

As a feminist, I can only imagine what it must be like for men who feel they must compete with this impossible image. And as a psychologist-to-be, I know it has led to things like "manorexia" and "body dysmorphic disorder." You don't hear very much about it from males, (as it isn't very "macho" to talk about this stuff) but men are negatively affected by these images. And as writers, we can play a part in how we reach our readers.

I think we have a responsibility to both men AND women (of all backgrounds) to represent them fairly and as nicely as possible.

Your thoughts?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Smexxxy Friday


OK...I'll admit, this guy is more dorky than he is smexxxy...but his hip gyrations were hilarious and I thought his German accent was really cute. And hey...if my boyfriend cooked like this, I'd be a happy girl.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

7/10: Media of the Month!!!!!

Meet Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I'm featuring Jhonen Vasquez's graphic novel: JTHM for my Media of the Month!

Why? Because I just love Nny and his lovable masochistic and misanthropic antics. For those of you who don't know, Vasquez is the same guy who did Invader Zim.

So...why should you read this comic? Well for one, it's gory enough for even the most seasoned horrorphile.

It's witty and funny as hell and has a varied cast of warped characters. There's an obese, pre-pubescent god, a cheerleading satan, a haunted wall that must be painted in blood, a severed bunny's head stuffed with nails, two demonically possessed styrofoam doughboys, and a host of other weird characters along those lines.

And it's a staple for every goth/loner kid out there who has ever looked for something that combines morbid humor and philosophical existentialism. Vasquez has a way of making fun of the gothic subculture while exalting its flaws and characteristics. Being a goth myself (or rather, a grown-up goth) I can attest to how true he paints the "gothic image." Nny hates people but often acts just as disgusting as the people he kills. This is the crux of the plot, really. Johnny slowly but surely goes insane as the story goes on.

I was tickled that he also made a jab at "psychic vampires" and the "poser goth" crowd, hahaha! You know, the goths who pride themselves on being "nonconformists" but all end up wearing the same black clothes and listening to the same awful music? (Gawd, I HATED those kids in high school!) But I think non-goths/emos/punks can find enjoyment in this comic too. It's for the misanthrope in everybody.


Nny is cute...even though he kills people. He's fun to read and think about. The comic is open-ended, so you'll be thinking about the characters long after you put the book down. In my opinion, that's the best way to end a story! :D The comic is hard to find--so you might have to go online to buy it. But it's worth it! For those of you who love black humor, THIS is the graphic novel for you! Also, the artwork is pretty sick. I do a little drawing myself (mostly manga) so I can appreciate this unique style. His lines are so angular and defined...I found myself looking at his lines for a few minutes before getting to the actual comic, lol! I just love the way he draws faces and eyes! So fun!

Next time you're in the bookstore, give Johnny the Homicidal Maniac a peek. And stay tuned for next month's theme!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

And Tyler's back! My favorite episode of her in the pottery class.

Hahahaha! Funny stuff! She has NO shame. None.


Thursday, July 22, 2010

Status Update: 7/10

Good news! I've got two new contracts at two different publishers! Huzzah! "Hurricane and Panther" will be published at Sapphire Blue Publishing! (YAAAAY!) And a new flash I wrote called, "Mermaid Lips" will be published at Pill Hill Press. Both are erotic stories. I'm so excited to work with Sapphire Blue! As soon as the cover art comes back, I'll post more on that.

As some of you already know, Lame Goat Press is kaput, but my "Odd Orval" story will be published at another publishing press. The details are still being ironed out, but we'll see what happens. When I get my contract (if I get my contract) I'll let you know what's up and I'll post an excerpt. The whole process has been an absolute NIGHTMARE with this story...but that's how it goes with some small press publishers. *sigh* No use getting upset about it. It's not like it was a paid gig anyways.

I'm working on my novel (a new one--the other has been trunked!) and a "short" story at the moment.

My short story is an interracial (AW/WM) heterosexual erotic romance/comedy. You remember, the one inspired by my trip to the cirque du soleil? I tried to make it about sex but the characters kept nagging me they wanted to fall in yes, ME, the romance genre HATER is currently writing a ROMANCE! *shudder* I HATE myself for doing this...but the fricking couple won't cooperate and just have sex!

What started out as a whang-bang-boom kinda story has now morphed into this monster of a project. It was SUPPOSED to be 7-9K. I wasn't SUPPOSED to get attached to my characters.

Uh uh. Nope. My characters wouldn't have it. They conspired against me, see? Look at their faces. They look smug, don't they?

They mucked it up with cheesy dialogue and "falling in love" scenes so now I'm guessing my "short story" will turn into a "novelette." I'm already over 9K words. Maybe 12-15K words when it is finished? That is, if they COOPERATE like good little characters! 12-15K is a tricky length to sell. Too long for a short story, too short for a novella. I could be digging myself into a hole. I will scream if I have to stretch it out to 20K.

It'll be a HEA erotic story after all. Which pisses me off because I said I would NEVER do it. My only saving grace is that my characters are weird. The plot is quirky. I wanna say it's like the movie "Amelie" in its "bizarreness." And I'm hoping it's funny (in a sick and twisted way it sort of is). I have no idea if this story will be published as it is my FIRST romance attempt. If I'm going to write a romance it better be a pretty fucking WEIRD romance. That way I can keep my tomboy goth card without feeling like a total sell-out. Hahaha!

Oy. Off to finish up my story. Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reading New Books

Although I am a writer, I don't read very much. Why? Mainly, because I'm too poor to buy new books and reading takes a lot of my time. I'm the sort of person who reads a whole book in one or two sittings. Even if the book sucks--I fully absorb myself to the pages. This is why I'm so slow to read some of my friend's books or beta. It's not that I'm unreliable, I just don't want to start something if I'm going to be busy with other things. Because once I start reading, I don't usually stop until I finish the whole thing.

I've ordered two books that I'm really excited about. I've been desperate to find other black female authors in the sci-fi/fantasy genres. I'll review them both once I finish, but here's what I got on my plate right now:

"Kindred" by Octavia E. Butler and...

"Brown Girl in the Ring" by Nalo Hopkinson, but I think I'll start first with this one. Both of these books are kinda old...I think "Kindred" was published in the 80s and "Brown Girl" in 1998. But I'm just now hearing about these books. (Kinda sad, huh?)

Until the books arrive, I will try my best to catch up on my beta work! Thank you all for being patient with me!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Horror Writing 102

Congratulations, you guys! You passed Horror Writing 101 with flying colors! So now you can progress to the intermediate course: Horror Writing 102!

That being said, I bet you remember what we learned in 101, yeah? Primal fears. You can't be a horror writer if you don't know what scares people. You really are good students! Or maybe I'm just a stellar teacher. Either way, let's begin today's lesson!

Now, what I'm about to write is going to piss some of you off...but it has to be said. It is MY biggest pet peeve in the horror industry and it part of the reason why the horror genre is dying.


Horror writers have stopped trying to be original!

They write about the same tired monsters and themes over and over and over again expecting different results! Guess what? There aren't any! It's time to step out of the box and create something different. I'm not saying you should throw them away but just write OTHER stuff!

Vampires were scary as shit when Bram Stoker did it. Why? Because he was the first. Zombies were scary as shit when Mary Shelly did it. Why? Because she was the first! Aliens were scary as shit when H. G. Wells did it. WHY?! Because he was one of the first!

Are you sensing a theme, here?

The same can be said for werewolves, ghosts, and Cthulhu. Once it's been done, it's done. You can try to recreate a different "twist" on these century-old creatures, but it won't get you far because the horror genre cannot evolve without new material! It's, Christmas music. Yes, Christmas music. (I do have an analogy in here somewhere...)

After five or six songs, they all start to sound the same because they ARE all the same. Every year some new blowhard does a cover of the same shit people were singing about fifty years ago! They can't beat the originals, so they just sing the same shit. Same "Jingle Bells" but with Justin Timberlake. Same "We wish you a merry Christmas" but it's Katy Perry's voice. And every year the novelty of "Oooh, it's a Justin Timberlake twist!" wears off, and someone like Miley Cyrus replaces him with her "poignant" version of "Silent Night." There's a reason people don't listen to that stuff all year long. You'd go insane with boredom! Or perhaps overdose on Christmas Cheer, hohoho!

There is more to horror writing than vampires and zombies! Just look around you!

Look at Alfred Hitchcock's, "Psycho." Stephen King's, "Carrie." Edgar Allan Poe's, "The Tell-Tale Heart." Ray Bradburry's, "Something Wicked This Way Comes." Tim Burton's "The Nightmare before Christmas." William Peter Blatty's, "The Exorcist." Seriously, the possibilities are ENDLESS once you get your head out of the zombie-vamp-were-box.

As horror writers, you benefit from creating something different. It gives you an edge. Although it may be tempting to "do what everyone else does" stick to your guns and be an original. It'll pay off in the long run AND it'll add something to the horror genre that wasn't already there before.

This concludes Horror Writing 102. Clear your desks except for a number two pencil and a scantron. Testing starts right now!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

Tyler has returned! But this time...the girlfriend fights back.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Your First Time...

No, no...I'm not talking about THAT first time! Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, will ya?!

I'm talking about BOOKS! What was the first book or story that turned you on? Was it an erotic story? A romance? A playboy magazine? And how old were you?

Go on, you can be honest! We're all friends here!

I'll tell you the first book that turned me on... well, to be fair, it was more of a novella. To date, it is the only romance book I can read in its entirety without keeling over from hyperglycemic shock.

I was at the tender age of 15 when I stumbled across some old books in the basement of our new house. The previous family had left some of their junk in there and it was my task to clean it out. As I was clearing out the boxes, I spied a faded purple book nestled there amongst the puzzle games. I thought it was innocent enough, and the cover was intriguing.

I had no idea what this book was about. I didn't know it was a romance...or that once I read it I would become a lifelong fan of D. H. Lawrence. All I knew is that the book "called" to me. It was there in that lonely little box in the darkest corner of the forgotten, worn and tattered--and I felt sorry for it in a way. I took it upstairs with me and spent the next hour and a half reading it from cover to cover.

I was engrossed! Utterly enthralled! It was the first romance story I ever read...and LIKED! It had murder, cougars, suspense, and a demonic fox! It combined feminism and even lesbianism together in one neat package. And although there wasn't any physical sex in it, the sexual tension between all the characters was enough to steam my clams, if you know what I mean. And this is coming from a tomboy.

I love "The Fox" by D. H. Lawrence. It was my first, and I'm forever grateful I found it in the basement that day. For one, it changed my mind about romances. AND it got me thinking about erotica for the first time. Of course, it wouldn't be til 5yrs later I write my first erotic piece...but it was the start of something. I still have that old copy of "The Fox" in my apartment. Whenever I'm suffering from writer's block, I dust it off and have another read.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

This week I was captivated by snail porn...among other things.

This clip comes from the wonderful French documentary called Microcosmos (1996). This movie enchanted me as a preteen. My mother (understanding my love for animals) randomly picked this movie out at the video store. I watched it over and over again that summer...but forgot its name over the years. After stumbling across it on youtube, I was delighted to watch it again! This movie is so haunting...and a little creepy.

If you're interested in watching the whole movie, you can do so on youtube or watch the full thing online

Perhaps the snails weren't as "smeXXXy" as you were hoping for so I'll find something good for next week. Don't worry...I won't show snail porn again in future posts.


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Body Modification

(Isn't this picture just revolting? Hahahaha? If I look at it too long I start gagging!)

I'm talking about tattoos...piercings...that sort of thing.

What do YOU think about body modification? Are you for it? Against it? Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

I got my first tattoo in May by Bart Willis at Southside Tattoo. Hells, yeah! Check out his website--the guy is fucking good!

Getting tattooed for the first time was pretty cool--but it hurt! I've wanted one since I was 16.

I also have piercings (7 to be exact) in my ears that I'm going to start stretching. I don't want to do anything crazy like 00 gauge--I'm going 14 gauge max! I'll do another post on that. I bought tapers and a host of other cool earrings to show you once I stretch out my ears. I'm at 20-18 gauge in most of my holes--I'm going to go straight from 20ga to 14ga, so we'll see how that goes.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cannibalistic Confessions

I've managed to keep baby flesh off my menu for over 100 days.

Let me tell's been rough, guys. That kind of willpower doesn't come easy, dammit! Now that everyone has started's become harder and harder for me to resist temptation! I began grilling this foot...but I didn't actually eat it. So it doesn't count, right?

Mmmm...clown feet! Yummy!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy July 4th!

I would like to take this time to talk about Pumpernickel, a cat my boyfriend and I rescued two weeks ago.

It's a bittersweet story--but I feel it best to commemorate this kitty here on my blog for being such a fighter!

This first photo is right after we "captured" him. He's in my dog's carrier here. My boyfriend found this very sweet cat wandering outside while he was walking my dog. The cat was starving--literally starving. Just skin and bones. But he seemed to trust us. We didn't have any cat food to give him, so we gave him dog food. That sleepy look in his eye is because he just finished scarfing down half a cup of dog food. He was so small, we thought he was a kitten! He weighed only 5lbs!

I fought to keep the cat overnight. I did not think the cat would make it another day if he was left one more hour in the sweltering Texas heat. My boyfriend reluctantly agreed. We decided to take the cat to a vet the next day. For all we knew, he could've had parasites or something! My boyfriend started calling him Pumpernickel so that became his name.

We were in for a surprise when we took him into the vet. The cat was not a kitten, he was about 10yrs old. In addition to his age, he also had an ulcer in his eye from some sort of head trauma and pneumonia. No parasites to speak of, the cat was just thin. My boyfriend and I were faced with a $320 vet bill and an abandoned cat. We decided to take both and bring Pumpernickel home with us.

I've had experiences rescuing animals before...but Pumpernickel was the worst case I've ever seen. He was obviously someone's cat and not a stray because he got along just fine with our dog and LOVED people. He jumped in our laps and purred. He was starving for human affection. So I put up some flyers around our apartment to give his owners a fighting chance at reclaiming him before he officially became "ours."

Literally the next day, we received a call from some man claiming to be the cat's owner. He said his cat had been missing for two days--but in Pumpernickel's condition, the cat had to have been on his own for at LEAST a month! Unless his previous owners were just neglecting to feed him, there was no other explanation for his emaciated body.

In the end, he was indeed Pumpernickel's owner--he had the pictures to prove it. He reimbursed us our $320 in cash and thanked us for rescuing his cat (whom he had named: "Needy"). Pumpernickel actually tried to hide under the couch when the man bent down to pick him up! :( But there was nothing we could do--the cat was his.

And just like that, Pumpernickel was gone from our lives.

We can only hope his owner truly intends to take care of the him. Despite it all, we are glad we did the right thing. We agreed to name our next cat "Pumpernickel" after him. :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

Smexxxy Friday

My favorite fake lesbians! But they sure are smexxxy! Enjoy!


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