Monday, April 2, 2012

Cannibalistic Confessions

They're putting clown meat in bologna form??? What has the world come to???? How am I supposed to stick to my diet if supermarkets start doing stuff like this??? Look at that smiling roll of bologna. Don't you just want to stab it with a fork? 

Ugh! Lately I've been in a killing mood. *Sigh* There was this kid at the library who wouldn't shut the fuck up while I was editing. He ran up and down the aisles, pulling books off of the shelves while screaming his head off. This went on for like 15 minutes before the mother finally decided to get up off her fat ass and control her child! Gawd, I HATE that! I doubt anyone would have cared if I had acted on my homicidal impulse and just killed the brat. Or the irresponsible mother. 

Which brings me to the subject of this post. Children. Why do people have them? Like seriously, why? Children are noisy. Smelly. Stupid. And snack-sized. 

Even when I was a child, I hated other children. And now that I am 23, I doubt I'll reproduce. The world is over-populated with enough morons. Why add your inferior genetics into the cesspool? Half the people who have children shouldn't. It seems the more stupid you are, the more children you seem to reproduce. *sigh* What's a cannibal to do, y'all? 


t_mcclinton85 said...

I KNOW you didn't write this post, and expect me not to chime in...did you...honestly? No, i didn't think so.

I have 3 kids, and they are all AMAZING! yes, they are loud, and sometimes smelly, but they're mine. And if anyone ever laid a hand on them, I'd be in prison right now--SMILING.

That being said, I would never allow my child to act like that. Irresponsible parents annoy me, not the kids, because they don't know any better. It is up to the parent to teach their children how to act in public places, like the library for example. That was HER fault, not the child's. I think your rant should be pointed towards the neglectful mother, rather than the kid.

Humph. Okay. I'm done. ;)

P.S. Sorry your library time wasn't awesome. <3

Vegetarian Cannibal said...

Haha! I KNEW you were going to comment on this the moment I posted it up! :D

Yeah...the kids don't really have any control over what they do. I was more pissed at the mother for just sitting there and allowing her kid to behave that way! Like seriously...the librarians kept looking over at this woman, wondering WHEN she was going to step in and stop her child, but the she never did. Only when the librarian physically tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to leave did the woman put away her magazines and take her screaming child out of the building.

I recognize not ALL kids are like that.

Of course YOUR kids are awesome, Theresa! Little Lina is such a CUTIE PIE! Not all kids are monsters. And even the kids who ARE monsters aren't really monsters. It's the stupid parents who should be beaten and flogged for reproducing in the first place!

Talhe said...

I hate noise in libraries and the disproportionately loud noises children make. Whether it's people snoring in the library, to young children crying loud enough to fill a church, it always manages to irritate the hell out of me.

Michelle said...

this is why i believe you need a lisence to raise a kid. i blame these New Age/ Yuppie books that pretty much tell you NOT to discipline your child and let them go crazy...our society is fucked...

Benjamin said...

Agreed. This is why chastity belts should be mandatory for people who shouldn't have kids.

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