Monday, March 15, 2010

Cannibalistic Confessions

It's spring break and I'm stuck in my apartment with an empty fridge and a lonely, breaking heart. I have no friends nearby (as I commute to my university) and I have no plans to travel this spring.

My boyfriend works during the day, leaving me to fight off a nasty bout of writer's block all by lonesome with only the pitying stares of my dog to encourage me. Haunted by an insatiable appetite for clown flesh, I found myself drooling incomprehensibly at my laptop while enduring long hours of trashy daytime television simultaneously.

I'm not going to lie. I'm an emotional eater.

So I ate all the salad yesterday. Then the boxed cereal and the rest of the soy milk. And in a desperate attempt to avoid cooking today, chugged down a can of black beans and canned corn for dinner.

No vegetables are left in the fridge, save for the two frozen packets of edamame in the freezer. And I still can't think of anything meaningful to write for my carnival story! This writer's block is kicking my ass, guys! I have maybe 1000 words down for a story that's supposed to be 10K!

I'm not proud of what happened next. Really...I'm not. But I was so so hungry I couldn't help myself! I baby-snatched a kid out of one of the shopping carts at the grocery store.

*sigh* And so the "cannibal sobriety" countdown begins... again.


Related Posts with Thumbnails