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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

Same WIP from last week. Different scene. Despite the depressing excerpts, this WIP is actually a comedy, lol.

If not for her impending suicide, Holly might’ve enjoyed the picturesque view. Instead, she stared down into the river with tears in her eyes. The tip of her nose felt numb and her hands shook with cold. 
From Holly’s perch, the dark river appeared saturated with black ink. The surface of the water sparkled as if a million diamonds simmered beneath the waves. After she had jumped, the water would swallow her up into that darkness, and her problems would sink with her lifeless body down to the bottom of the river, never to be seen again. 
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18 comments:

Gem Sivad said...

Wonderful imagery. "... the dark river appeared saturated with black ink. The surface of the water sparkled as if a million diamonds simmered beneath the waves..."

I'll be back for more great sixes!

Happy Easter TVG!

Taryn Kincaid said...

Nice description and the way you relate the blackness of the river to the blackness of her frame of mind.

Sarah Grimm said...

Very powerful snippet! Great job!

Vegetarian Cannibal said...

Thanks everyone! :)

Cate Masters said...

Wonderful description. Hope she doesn't jump though!

Zee Monodee said...

Felt like I was right there in her shoes just about to jump! Good one. :)

sue said...

this is a comedy? a dark one - fascinating

Vegetarian Cannibal said...

Yeah it's a dark comedy. I have a warped sense of humor if you couldn't tell already...lol.

Jessica Subject said...

Wonderful description! Hard to believe its a comedy with this excerpt, but I enjoyed reading it.

Lindsay said...

Love the descriotion and depth of dispare she's going through

Susanna Fraser said...

Vivid description, using the details to paint her mood.

Lynne Murray said...

Great use of sensory details and a suspensedul hook!

Jenna Jaxon said...

Great imagery. And I think I can see how this might turn into comedy--but I'll have to come back next week. Love your name, Vegetarian Cannibal!

Monica Enderle Pierce said...

I like how you've used the little details to put us in this moment -- the cold on her nose and hands, the black & diamonds of the distant river. Nice six!

Kathleen Grieve said...

Jam packed full of emotion and imagery! Great Six!

Jayel Kaye said...

I love the description of the water. beautiful and deadly

J.A. Beard said...

Some very evocative imagery.

Pippa Jay said...

Very poignant. Loved the descriptions of the water.

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