I did not know I was a whiskey girl until my 23rd birthday last month. Thanks to that experience, I now have two new lovers in my life: Jack and Coke. I'm no stranger to hard liquor--normally tequila is my poison of choice, but damn, I have never been more wasted in my life than when I drink whiskey! After 3 shots, I'm singing...crying...dancing...writing poetry...you name it. It is freaking awesome!
Whiskey has this strange effect on me...I feel...kinda sexxxy when I'm drunk on it. It opens me up, raw, and makes me float on a cloud. I was drinking a Jack and Coke yesterday and danced all night to Hooverphonic's "2 Wicky." That was the best night ever! This morning I woke up around 7:30am (a new record for me) with the itching feeling to write. Note to self: if ever in need of creative inspiration, drink a Jack and Coke while dancing to Hooverphonic!
Time for another status update! Sooo...what have I accomplished since my last update? Virtually nothing! Yay! Hurray for failure and mediocrity!
No new publications. In fact, I haven't even submitted anything to a publisher in months! Sorry, guys. I've been too busy finishing my novels. Yes. Plural. You read that right. I realize trying to finish two novels at the same time is INSANITY but I'm awesome like that. What can I say? I'm a masochist.
*Sigh* My dragon story has taken on a life of its own. I'm still trying to knock out the first chapter. My historical YA is completely on hold due to a serious case of writer's block. In fact, I'm writing the dragon story BECAUSE I have hit a such a big wall with my other one. I could try writing short stories--but I'm sort of short story'd out at the moment.
When I can figure out how to write the last 10K words of my YA WIP, I can stop obsessing! I'm like 73K words into it at the moment. When I do another project, I'll let you guys know. Until then, I'm going to wallow in my own worthlessness while watching a whole lot of daytime television. :)
So...yeah. My new year's resolution involved yet another diet change. No, no, I'm still abstaining from human flesh, but I've decided to take that first (hesitant) step toward veganism. Why? I need to lose the weight. And also, I've always been somewhat curious about playing for the other team.
I've been a vegetarian for about...hmmm...I'd say 8yrs now. Nothing fancy. Typical ovo-lacto-vegetarian diet here. However, I've been eating more cheese pizza and french fries than lentils and spinach. So yeah. Time to get my fat ass back into shape for 2012. (Sound familiar?)
I'm cutting dairy completely out of my diet for the month. I'll be an ovo-vegetarian for as long as I can possibly stand it. If I can do it for one month, I can do it for three. If I can do it for three months, I can do it for six, and so on. A personal challenge. Wish me luck. :)
This clip is hysterical. Miss Congeniality is the only Sandra Bullock movie I can tolerate without wanting to kill myself afterwards. I love the part when the guy chews on the candy bar, bwahaha! I lol'd so hard! But I wonder why guys do shit like this? They get all serious and act like they're going to do something sexy, and then they totally back out of the moment and pretend like nothing happened. Why do men DO this????
Ladies have you ever experienced anything like this? Annoying, isn't it? The most recent scenario happened to me last year during my final semester of college. There was this much-older, much-more-married, psychology professor I was sort of crushing on at the time, and he would sort of flirt with the idea but NEVER take it any further. Which irritated the HELL out of me. If he had just come out with it, I would not have cared. But FUCK, ambiguity kills me!
I mean, he literally made me squirm in my seat from across the room just by looking at me--that's how ridiculous the situation was. Only once did he confront me in the hallway after class one day. The suddenness of it all made me gasp, but he hesitated to follow-through, and then, just as suddenly, he sprinted off in the opposite direction and ignored me for the rest of the semester afterwards.
Looking back on it now, my obvious sexual attraction must have amused him because I feel as if he got some sort of sadistic thrill out of fucking with my head. Must be quite an ego-boost for a guy in his late 30s to have the attention of a 22yr old girl. Men are pricks!
I hate having allergies...but not for the reason you think. Most people are allergic to pollen, dust, cat dander, etc, but nope, not me. I have to be allergic to wonderful things like fruit. Yes. Fruit. I am allergic to all kinds of fruit except citrus foods.
Why? Because I have this thing called Fruit Pollen Syndrome. Which sucks. Because I love eating fruit. *Sigh* And as a vegetarian, fruits and veggies make up most of my diet! :(
I'm also allergic to latex. So no wild kinky sex costumes for me, unfortunately.
I want to take a look back through 2010-2011 to relive some of the finer moments on this blog. I'm picking five of my most favorite/popular "Smexxxy Fridays" for this Smexxxy Friday. If there is one in particular you like, please let me know!
1. This Smexxxy Friday is probably the most viewed post on my entire blog. I got so many hits on this one, lol. Glad to know I'm not the only one freaked out by blue alien porn.
2. I had a lot of fun sifting through youtube videos to find these condom ads. I love condoms. No glove no love, right gentlemen? For the video that was taken down, you can watch it again right here.
3. Ah. Who can forget the infamous "snail porn" post? Unfortunately, the original clip has been taken off of youtube. But the music video still has some of the best scenes from the movie. Enjoy!
4. I remember the Bunny Boiler videos, don't you? Good times. Because I can't pick just one, I'm going to link you up to all of them. Scroll down the page to view them all! Tyler is such a little minx, isn't she?
5. I absolutely adore this Smexxxy Friday. It was the short German film about the girl with the yellow stockings. Well-acted, well-written, well done. One of the more "serious" Smexxxy Friday postings I've done. I'll post the video but here is the link to the original post.
Anyway, those are my top five. Which were yours? :D VC
Bless her, hahaha! Almost every single comment in this video has been said to me in one form or another over the years. I absolutely LOVE how before a white person says anything racist, they start off by saying: "Not to be racist but..." or "I'm not a racist but..." *nostalgic sigh* I've been a subscriber to chescaleigh's videos for a while now and so I watched this thing before it went viral and ended up on the Anderson show.
What makes me laugh is the nuclear fall-out from some white people (particularly white girls) who are getting all up in arms about this and calling the creator of this video a "racist." Hahaha, um...what? You DO realize this video is making FUN of the racist ignoramuses, right? She's being facetious!
Oh the irony! The irony!
My favorite defensive reaction is: "OMG. If a white girl did a video about the same thing, the world would explode!" Which inherently implies a sense of entitlement based around the question: "Why can she (as a black person) point out racism to white people but I (as a white person) can't point out racism to blacks?" Ok, let me answer this incessant question that has been nagging the subconscious minds of ignorant white people once and for all. You ready? Because reverse racism doesn't exist! Black people can not and do not"oppress" white people on any scale...so...um yeah, your misguided defensiveness is irrelevant to the discussion.
If you're going to get mad at the video, get mad at the fact these white girls DO exist--not that the creator of this video pointed them out to you!
*Sigh* Sometimes living with someone can be tough. I love my boyfriend and everything...but there are days I honestly want to roundhouse kick him in the head. Mostly over the TV. As I type this, he is hogging the remote control so he can watch his pointless car shows.
Why do men insist on watching these shows about tools? Or fixing houses or cars? It's not like they are going to get up off their butts and FIX anything around the house. So why? But I guess it is manly enough just to sit on the couch and passively watch OTHER men do these things.
I should just eat all of the men on the planet. Life would be so much simpler without them.
I've been doing pretty good about posting regularly, don't you think? I'm proud of myself. I kinda like my schedule: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'm wondering though if I should do something on the weekend, though. Hrmmm.
It's hard finding things to write about every week. In all honesty ya'll, most of the time I'm just winging it! I don't have anything all that important to say, but I do appreciate all my followers and all of your comments. I'm bad about replying back to most of them, but I'm going to do better about keeping up with these things this year. Can't make any promises, though, so don't hold your breath on it! :D
Let's kick off the new year with some bumpin' and grindin' music. Hopefully Morcheeba will help us settle back in from our holiday excursions. I hope you guys had a fantastic break. Thanks for joining me back at the VC. Glad to have you back. ;-)
Hi. I'm the Vegetarian Cannibal.
My primary diet consists of broccoli and tofu and things like that, but I've been known to spoil myself on organisms higher up the food chain. Babies mostly. Sometimes clowns.
I'm a writer and this is my blog. :) I don't eat any of my fans, so don't worry. Just promise to clean up after you're done!