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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

The following is an excerpt from one of my WIPS.



The sun beat over their heads without mercy. Not a single cloud graced the sky on the day of her mother’s funeral, and as the ceremony progressed, Holly’s father moaned louder into his handkerchief. Violent sobs quaked through his body. He gasped with each strained breath as he wiped the fluids that trickled from his nose, eyes, and mouth. 
Seeing her father that way had frightened her. She wondered when she too would break down and dissolve into tears, but the tears never came that day. 

5 comments:

J.A. Beard said...

A lot of emotion in this six.

Jessica E. Subject said...

I agree. You show a great deal of emotion from the father, but I'm curious as to why that narrator isn't showing any. Intriguing.

Alanna Coca said...

Wow. I agree with JA and Jessica. Emotion is palpable.

bluerose said...

afraid of when the tears will come - very emotional!

Vegetarian Cannibal said...

Thank you for all the wonderful comments. :)

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